Friday, February 22, 2008

Jealousy & Envy !


According to many authors, jealousy is a complex emotion, meaning that it is not possible to provide a simple and immediate description of it, as it would be for “basic” emotions like joy or anger.....
As said formerly, jealousy is more that a mere, sudden emotion. It consist in an entire “emotional episode” including the circumstances that lead up to jealousy, jealousy itself as emotion, any attempt at self regulation, subsequent actions and events and the resolution of the episode . There’s a complex “narrative” behind jealousy . as it is perceived and thought by the jealous. The origin of this narrative is extremely relevant to understand the nature of jealousy. The narrative can originate from experienced facts, thoughts, perceptions, memories, but also imagination, guess and assumptions. The more society and culture matter in the formation of these factors, the more jealousy can have a social and cultural origin

Coping with jealousy

People who experience pathological jealousy, and people for whom jealousy triggers violence, may benefit from professional counseling. People who experience normal jealousy have at least nine strategies for coping with jealousy. The problem-solving strategies include: improving the primary relationship, interfering with the rival relationship, demanding commitment, and self-assessment. The emotion-focused strategies include: derogation of partner or rival, developing alternatives, denial/avoidance, support/catharsis, and appraisal challenge. These strategies are related to emotion regulation, conflict management, cognitive change, and ground rules for managing jealous competition. The most important thing to do about any feelings of jealousy is to first admit them, and then attempt to overcome them. Polyamory groups encourage the replacement of jealousy with compersion, or empathizing with a lover's joy with another lover.

"Are Jealous me?????????????"
Do u dare to ask your friend this question ??

If u can do this ,mean u are really have a great confidence about yourself .
Or might be not !

This is some basic condition about Jealousy !
1,U will try to find out all the detail about her .
2,U will try to find out the bad part about her .
3,Try to let her know u are better than her .
4,Try to Do the best and compare with her .
5 ,Try to Copy her ,or do what she like to do,
or buy what she like to buy ,or get what she like to get !
6,Do all the things that she done before .
7,Try to Deny Deny and Deny

Example 1 :
1 days ,u are shopping with your friend ,u all went to a shop ,and she is looking for a shoes ,and she found nice shoes and show it to you ....and told u that she like the shoes pattern,
and the others days,u bought a shoes that almost same with her ..
and u try to deny that you are copying her !

Example 2:
Your friend was rich ,and a pretty girl ,(prettier than u and richer than u) ...
U try to finding some evidence that can prove that she was not really rich at all ,
or you try to told some one that she is not that pretty and try to told everyone that about her weakness .U also will try to show off or prove that to everyone you are better than her ,or u can get what she get !

Example 3 :
Your friend was a very clever girl ,she always get the excellent result and your are not ,
u try to hide her text book or try to hinder her studying ,and she can't get the good result (mostly occur in childhood )


So don't try to deny ,if your are jealous in some one ,u should try to envy and set her as your role model ,if u really hope to become better than her !

Envy !!!!!
Envy and jealousy are distinct in their object. Jealousy concerns something one has and is afraid of loosing, while envy concerns something one does not have and either he wants to acquire or he wants the other(s) not to have (malicious envy) . A comparison between jealousy and envy can be carried out in order to understand their differences and similarities. Possible objects of love can be possible objects of jealousy; possible object of self esteem can be possible object of envy. Love and self esteem, which appear to be the main reasons for the two emotions, are extremely positive values, so that there could be some good in envy and jealousy. In fact, nonmalicious envy can “motivate people to improve themselves”.

It has been proved that envy has an important role in society, a so strong influence on human facts that “there are crimes of envy, politics based on envy, institutions designed to regulate envy and powerful motives for avoiding being envied by others!

This post is special for some one that who are jealous me or jealous your friend as well!!
Read it ,it might help u ..

And i will leave you ,if i found that u start to copying me or jealous me !I Hate !!!

1 comment:

Danson Loi (Ah Loi) said...

Chill up~~ tht's life, patience could be an awesome ice-breaker =) =)