Sunday, June 21, 2009

For you, My only and beloved BFF ...

(A tiring day, headache now, something kept flashing through my mind which made me couldn't fall asleep.)

I just came back from outside. I was out of mood when I chilled around with J'Hao and his friends @ Malacca.....and emo the whole day .....
Thinking of calling you... Thinking of putting everything aside and ask D to fetch me back to KL and talk to you face to face...............thinking of many many things ...................But at last, I didn't do it ...........It was because .........

Oh shit ........ Sobbing non stop, I HATE YOU !!!! I HATE YOU because U are so important in My life, I HATE YOU because U have a strong position in my mind, I HATE you because U have the power that will affect my mood...... I HATE YOU, YES , I REALLY HATE you because I really LOVE you ................

I didn't know what has happened in our relationship, but to be honest, I found that there were something wrong between our relationship since the day u had a relationship with (someone), and I found it getting worse since last few months.............................. I didn't find out, I didn't want to find out, I didn't want to talk to you heart to heart, I was scared, I was worried, I was just too scared to find out that it was really something wrong between our relationship ..... I WAS JUST TOO SCARED... I didn't want to face the fact at all............ I didn't want to see something same to happen again...I didn't want, because U R so Important to me............

I kept re-calling everything about us ..................
Thinking about the 1st day we met, and U were so naive, cute, talkative, helpful and caring (This was your best part which I LOVE the most)

Thinking of our swimming session, gossiping around, sharing thoughts ...And 1more ...Ponteng sekolah together .....We had the BEST attendance in our high school ...LOL........

Thinking of our sharing and gossiping (8 hours non stop ) part @ McD.

Thinking of our girly shopping day. The first time that we went shopping together was the funniest one.........U know what happened right ..LOL
and other good shopping experience ....But this kind of happy and naive shopping experience only remained until the middle of 2008 ..............I don't mean to blame anyone and I don't want to, because it is our relationship ... Things happened just because of us, others did nothing and no one was at fault It was because of US.....You and Me.

Yes, As We always said, Human will change, as time changes everything changes.....
As time past everything past ............ I wasn't as nice as before anymore, I was sick of acting friendly anymore...... Straight forward is my characteristic.......I won't hide it anymore....
And everything becomes very sarcasm, I think U could feel it too right.....
I didn't want to argue who started the sarcasm first, and I didn't want to find out more and more about the sarcasm that I felt,  I didn't want to tell you how I felt about the sarcasm too.... Because I thought It was not necessary at all.....We are BFF, time will solve the problem..
But I was just too naive to think these kind of things....
Some people always say, Heart to heart could help, No matter it is a family relationship, Loveship, Frienship etc........
But I didn't think so...For me, heart to heart would only let everything gets worst, because I tried and Saw it before............I didn't know why our relationship would change..
But I knew No one could help and nothing could help......

Now, I feel everything is really unsecured, I can't bear with it anymore, I don't want to wait for it to become worse..I Don't want to see through everything and get hurt again and again ................

Everything will only become our memories.....And the best way to keep all the best memories is to protect them and don't let anything destroy them ..
And The best way to protect them is Let Go before it get worse .................I think, this is the time to Let Go....
I dare not bet on our relationship anymore....I don't want to let our relationship gets worse and worse anymore, and I know it couldn't last anymore, therefore, the best way to solve the problem is JUST to Let Go, so that I can still keep a good memory and Let it become part of my best memories.........

Last but not least, If I said anything wrong or something that really hurt you, I am sorry...
Really Sorry ............I hope that u can forget everything about it because I really didn't mean it..
SORRY....

And I am sorry, I am really sick of this kinda problem.......I mean, I will LET it GO...........Sorry..

Sorry. 
Love You, Take care.

10 comments:

shryne shirly said...

hey, howcum your blog so sad.. but after see u write abt u & ur bff, finally i can feel that u really understand my recently feel(weakness of friendship)..
anyway, babegurl.. i know we seldom hang out together, but u must know u still have us.. u know we clubbing kaki always so big gang not out for clubbing only 1.. my hum partay coming soon rite after my vacation on philipine so come over crazy together la.. && pls do cal me if u wanna some help.. don so sad edi la, think of another 2 sampat po, pei ling & shryne here la.. lolz.. miss ya..

Darkhoe said...

hey yin thanks thatday accompany us at melacca nex time treat u eat satay jerut and siham(the seafood look like lala wan)and dun think too much just let it past...

Darkhoe said...

hey yin thanks thatday accompany us at melacca nex time treat u eat satay jerut and siham(the seafood look like lala wan)and dun think too much just let it past...

YinYin said...

Shryne : haiz.....Bad bad mood....HAhaha..Thx 4 ur concern anyway......Just call me when U guys are prepare for the party k...Truth or DARE !!!!!!!! LOL

Fatty Hao : Ya la Ya la..Ur favorite SiHam Lala....EW.............................................................
....and It should be Satay Celup not Satay Jerut ....Stupid!LOL......................

pikakitty said...

i understand... i've faced the same problem when i was 13... we were best friends but after studying in high school, the society has changed and she changed too... and now we were no longer best friends... all i do now was just smile at her whenever i see her... it seems like im the only who one to mend everything and she looks fine.. so i decided to let her go...


but no matter what decision you take, and no matter what happen in future.. just believe it's the right decision...


take care!
i havent been here in a long time ^.^

Jerine said...

I sense something personal here, so I'm skipping the read. Hahaha... I didn't include your name on the gift because you're from Malaysia. Anyway, I feel bad that I didn't give some of other readers the bracelet, so I'm sending them some small sourvenir (might be handmade by me). And you're included!!!! Email me your address!

YinYin said...

Pikakitty : Thx 4 ur sharing ...I don't know is that a right decision, but I think this might solve ...I don't want to face the fact anymore........Ya...I am escaping from the relationship ................I dare not to face...

Jerine : yea...This blog post is only special for my BBF..Only for her...Coz I dare not to talk to her face to face............LOL....Is that real?? I have a small souvenir ??THX THX..will email u soon...

Carely_Babystar said...

em surprise to saw this blog~
someone so important for yin and will make so care so love and so sad~i think jz only J.
So sad to saw between u two occur problem~
but i hope the problem between your will solve it as soon as~
A good relationship is hard to get it~once u get,and u think tat fren is ur best fren who know u as well,u mz hold it~dun let it go~if not it will be a regret~
Hope to c u two be fine soon!
dun too sad my dear~
sometime problem should said out~if not there will has many misunderstanding~

YinYin said...

carly : hmmm...i dun think so......when it comes to face to face...it will pop out a lot of excuses and" lie cover a lie" thingy, fake relationship, I tried It before, Like my last Ex- gal friend...........
heart to heart couldn't help...........
Anyway, Baby,thx 4 ur concern ..........I appreciate it !! ^^ Love u

Carely_Babystar said...

em~
i understand~
everyppl different way to solve their problem~
I hope u can use ur way to get bek ur friendship~
may god bless u~
i dun hope c u unhappy or sad...
keep in touch~