For you, My only and beloved BFF ...

(A tiring day, headache now, something kept flashing through my mind which made me couldn't fall asleep.)

I just came back from outside. I was out of mood when I chilled around with J'Hao and his friends @ Malacca.....and emo the whole day .....

Thinking of calling you... Thinking of putting everything aside and ask D to fetch me back to KL and talk to you face to face...............thinking of many many things ...................But at last, I didn't do it ...........It was because .........

Oh shit ........ Sobbing non stop, I HATE YOU !!!! I HATE YOU because U are so important in My life, I HATE YOU because U have a strong position in my mind, I HATE you because U have the power that will affect my mood...... I HATE YOU, YES , I REALLY HATE you because I really LOVE you ................

I didn't know what has happened in our relationship, but to be honest, I found that there were something wrong between our relationship since the day u had a relationship with (someone), and I found it getting worse since last few months.............................. I didn't find out, I didn't want to find out, I didn't want to talk to you heart to heart, I was scared, I was worried, I was just too scared to find out that it was really something wrong between our relationship ..... I WAS JUST TOO SCARED... I didn't want to face the fact at all............ I didn't want to see something same to happen again...I didn't want, because U R so Important to me............

I kept re-calling everything about us ..................

Thinking about the 1st day we met, and U were so naive, cute, talkative, helpful and caring (This was your best part which I LOVE the most)

Thinking of our swimming session, gossiping around, sharing thoughts ...And 1more ...Ponteng sekolah together .....We had the BEST attendance in our high school ...LOL........

Thinking of our sharing and gossiping (8 hours non stop ) part @ McD.

Thinking of our girly shopping day. The first time that we went shopping together was the funniest one.........U know what happened right ..LOL

and other good shopping experience ....But this kind of happy and naive shopping experience only remained until the middle of 2008 ..............I don't mean to blame anyone and I don't want to, because it is our relationship ... Things happened just because of us, others did nothing and no one was at fault It was because of US.....You and Me.

Yes, As We always said, Human will change, as time changes everything changes.....

As time past everything past ............ I wasn't as nice as before anymore, I was sick of acting friendly anymore...... Straight forward is my characteristic.......I won't hide it anymore....

And everything becomes very sarcasm, I think U could feel it too right.....

I didn't want to argue who started the sarcasm first, and I didn't want to find out more and more about the sarcasm that I felt,  I didn't want to tell you how I felt about the sarcasm too.... Because I thought It was not necessary at all.....We are BFF, time will solve the problem..

But I was just too naive to think these kind of things....

Some people always say, Heart to heart could help, No matter it is a family relationship, Loveship, Frienship etc........

But I didn't think so...For me, heart to heart would only let everything gets worst, because I tried and Saw it before............I didn't know why our relationship would change..

But I knew No one could help and nothing could help......

Now, I feel everything is really unsecured, I can't bear with it anymore, I don't want to wait for it to become worse..I Don't want to see through everything and get hurt again and again ................

Everything will only become our memories.....And the best way to keep all the best memories is to protect them and don't let anything destroy them ..

And The best way to protect them is Let Go before it get worse .................I think, this is the time to Let Go....

I dare not bet on our relationship anymore....I don't want to let our relationship gets worse and worse anymore, and I know it couldn't last anymore, therefore, the best way to solve the problem is JUST to Let Go, so that I can still keep a good memory and Let it become part of my best memories.........

Last but not least, If I said anything wrong or something that really hurt you, I am sorry...

Really Sorry ............I hope that u can forget everything about it because I really didn't mean it..

SORRY....

And I am sorry, I am really sick of this kinda problem.......I mean, I will LET it GO...........Sorry..

Sorry. 

Love You, Take care.